What the Modern Woman Wants June 8, 2008
Posted by Natasha Khoo in Love & Relationships.add a comment
Found this site from Digg, featuring a moving short story from a 15-year old girl (in 2004).
What the Modern Woman Wants
By Amanda Chong Wei-Zhen
The old woman sat in the backseat of the magenta convertible as it careened down the highway, clutching tightly to the plastic bag on her lap, afraid it may be kidnapped by the wind. She was not used to such speed, with trembling hands she pulled the seatbelt tighter but was careful not to touch the patent leather seats with her callused fingers, her daughter had warned her not to dirty it, ‘Fingerprints show very clearly on white, Ma.’
Her daughter, Bee Choo, was driving and talking on her sleek silver mobile phone using big words the old woman could barely understand.’Finance’ ‘Liquidation’ ‘Assets’ ‘Investments’… Her voice was crisp and important and had an unfamiliar lilt to it. Her Bee Choo sounded like one of those foreign girls on television. She was speaking in an American accent. The old lady clucked her tongue in disapproval.
‘I absolutely cannot have this. We have to sell!’ Her daughter exclaimed agitatedly as she stepped on the accelerator; her perfectly manicured fingernails gripping onto the steering wheel in irritation.
‘I can’t DEAL with this anymore!’ she yelled as she clicked the phone shut and hurled it angrily toward the backseat. The mobile phone hit the old woman on the forehead and nestled soundlessly into her lap. She calmly picked it up and handed it to her daughter.
‘Sorry, Ma,’ she said, losing the American pretence and switching to Mandarin. ‘I have a big client in America. There have been a lot of problems.’ The old lady nodded knowingly. Her daughter was big and important. Bee Choo stared at her mother from the rear view window, wondering what she was thinking.
Her mother’s wrinkled countenance always carried the same cryptic look. The phone began to ring again, an artificially cheerful digital tune, which broke the awkward silence.
‘Hello, Beatrice! Yes, this is Elaine.’ Elaine. The old woman cringed. I didn’t name her Elaine. She remembered her daughter telling her, how an English name was very important for ‘networking’, Chinese ones being easily forgotten.
‘Oh no, I can’t see you for lunch today. I have to take the ancient relic to the temple for her weird daily prayer ritual.’ Ancient Relic. The old woman understood perfectly it was referring to her. Her daughter always assumed that her mother’s silence meant she did not comprehend.
‘Yes, I know! My car seats will be reeking of joss sticks!’ The old woman pursed her lips tightly, her hands gripping her plastic bag in defence. The car curved smoothly into the temple courtyard. It looked almost garish next to the dull sheen of the ageing temple’s roof. The old woman got out of the back seat, and made her unhurried way to the main hall. Her daughter stepped out of the car in her business suit and stilettos and reapplied her lipstick as she made her brisk way to her.
‘Ma, I’ll wait outside. I have an important phone call to make,’ she said, not bothering to hide her disgust at the pungent fumes of incense. The old lady hobbled into the temple hall and lit a joss stick, she knelt down solemnly and whispered her now familiar daily prayer to the Gods.
‘Thank you God of the Sky, you have given my daughter luck all these years. Everything I prayed for, you have given her. She has everything a young woman in this world could possibly want. She has a big house with a swimming pool, a maid to help her, as she is too clumsy to sew or cook. Her love life has been blessed; she is engaged to a rich and handsome angmohman. Her company is now the top financial firm and even men listen to what she says. She lives the perfect life. You have given her everything except happiness. I ask that the gods be merciful to her even if she has lost her roots while reaping the harvest of success. What you see is not true – she is a filial daughter to me. She gives me a room in her big house and provides well for me. She is rude to me only because I affect her happiness. A young woman does not want to be hindered by her old mother. It is my fault.’
The old lady prayed so hard that tears welled up in her eyes. Finally, with her head bowed in reverence she planted the half-burnt joss stick into an urn of smouldering ashes. She bowed once more. The old woman had been praying for her daughter for thirty-two years. When her stomach was round like a melon, she came to the temple and prayed that it was a son.
Then the time was ripe and the baby slipped out of her womb, bawling and adorable with fat thighs and pink cheeks, but unmistakably, a girl. Her husband had kicked and punched her for producing a useless baby who could not work or carry the family name. Still, the woman returned to the temple with her new-born girl tied to her waist in a sarong and prayed that her daughter would grow up and have everything she ever wanted. Her husband left her and she prayed that her daughter would never have to depend on a man. She prayed every day that her daughter would be a great woman, the woman that she, meek and uneducated, could never become. A woman with nengkan; the ability to do anything she set her mind to A woman who commanded respect in the hearts of men. When she opened her mouth to speak, precious pearls would fall out and men would listen.
She will not be like me, the woman prayed as she watched her daughter grow up and drift away from her, speaking a language she scarcely understood. She watched her daughter transform from a quiet girl, to one who openly defied her, calling her laotu; old-fashioned. She wanted her mother to be ‘modern’, a word so new there was no Chinese word for it. Now her daughter was too clever for her and the old woman wondered why she had prayed like that.
The gods had been faithful to her persistent prayer, but the wealth and success that poured forth so richly had buried the girl’s roots and now she stood, faceless, with no identity, bound to the soil of her ancestors by only a string of origami banknotes. Her daughter hadforgotten her mother’s values. Her wants were so ephemeral; that of a modern woman. Power, Wealth, access to the best fashion boutiques, and yet her daughter had not found true happiness.
The old woman knew that you could find happiness with much less. When her daughter left the earth everything. She had would count for nothing. People would look to her legacy and say that she was a great woman, but she would be forgotten once the wind blows over, like the ashes of burnt paper convertibles and mansions.
The old woman wished she could go back and erase all her big hopes and prayers for her daughter; now she had only one want: That her daughter be happy. She looked out of the temple gate. She saw her daughter speaking on the phone, her brow furrowed with anger and worry. Being at the top is not good, the woman thought, there is only one way to go from there – down.
The old woman carefully unfolded the plastic bag and spread out a packet of bee hoon in front of the altar. Her daughter often mocked her for worshipping porcelain Gods. How could she pray to them so faithfully and expect pieces of ceramic to fly to her aid? But her daughter had her own gods too, idols of wealth, success and power that she was enslaved to and worshipped every day of her life. Every day was a quest for the idols, and the idols she worshipped counted for nothing in eternity. All the wants her daughter had would slowly suck the life out of her and leave her, an empty soulless shell at the altar. The old lady watched her joss tick. The dull heat had left a teetering grey stem that was on the danger of collapsing. Modern woman nowadays, the old lady sighed in resignation, as she bowed to the east one final time to end her ritual. Modern woman nowadays want so much that they lose their souls and wonder why they cannot find it.
Her joss stick disintegrated into a soft grey powder. She met her daughter outside the temple, the same look of worry and frustration was etched on her daughter’s face. An empty expression, as if she was ploughing through the soil of her wants looking for the one thing that would sow the seeds of happiness. They climbed into the convertible in silence and her daughter drove along the highway, this time not as fast as she had done before.
‘Ma,’ Bee Choo finally said. ‘I don’t know how to put this. Mark and I have been talking about it and we plan to move out of the big house. The property market is good now, and we managed to get a buyer willing to pay seven million for it. We decided we’d prefer a cosier penthouse apartment instead. We found a perfect one in Orchard Road. Once we move in to our apartment we plan to get rid of the maid, so we can have more space to ourselves…’
The old woman nodded knowingly. Bee Choo swallowed hard. ‘We’d get someone to come in to do the housework and we can eat out-but once the maid is gone, there won’t be anyone to look after you. You will be awfully lonely at home and, besides that, the apartment is rather small. There won’t be space. We thought about it for a long time, and we decided the best thing for you is if you moved to a Home. There’s one near Hougang – it’s a Christian home, a very nice one.’
The old woman did not raise an eyebrow. ‘I’ve been there, the matron is willing to take you in. It’s beautiful with gardens and lots of old people to keep you company! I hardly have time for you, you’d be happier there.’ ‘You’d be happier there, really.’ Her daughter repeated as if to affirm herself.
This time the old woman had no plastic bag of food offerings to cling tightly to; she bit her lip and fastened her seat belt, as if it would protect her from a daughter who did not want her anymore. She sunk deep into the leather seat, letting her shoulders sag, and her fingers trace the white seat.
‘Ma?’ her daughter asked, searching the rear view window for her mother. ‘Is everything okay?’
What had to be done, had to be done. ‘Yes,’ she said firmly, louder than she intended, ‘if it will make you happy,’ she added more quietly.
‘It’s for you, Ma! You’ll be happier there. You can move there tomorrow, I already got the maid to pack your things.’ Elaine said triumphantly, mentally ticking yet another item off her agenda.
‘I knew everything would be fine.’ Elaine smiled widely; she felt liberated. Perhaps getting rid of her mother would make her happier. She had thought about it. It seemed the only hindrance in her pursuit of happiness. She was happy now. She had everything a modern woman ever wanted; Money, Status, Career, Love, Power and now, Freedom, without her mother and her old-fashioned ways to weigh her down… Yes, she was free.
Her phone buzzed urgently, she picked it up and read the message, still beaming from ear to ear. ‘Stocks 10% increase!’ Yes, things were definitely beginning to look up for her…
And while searching for the meaning of life in the luminance of her hand phone screen, the old woman in the backseat became invisible, and she did not see the tears.
Love, Lost & Marriage April 13, 2008
Posted by Natasha Khoo in Behind Closed Doors, Love & Relationships.1 comment so far
I always get really emo after watching One Tree Hill (OTH). There’s just so much soul in the characters, the script and the story. If I could write a book or a movie screen play, I would wanna write a story as meaningful as OTH. A story so beautiful that it would touch the lives of people who read or watch it.
If I could write a story, I would wanna write about love.
Puppy love. The innocence of hope. The tenderness of the heart. The one hundred percent kindness in giving wholeheartedly.
Epic love. The courage to love. The willingness to take risk and make sacrifices. The commitment to promises made. Willingness to see the beauty in imperfections.
The unconditional love. Paternal love. Motherly instincts. Protective streaks.
I would write about lost. The pain of lost love. The pain from unexpected death. The regret of undoing. The sufferings of suffering. The hopelessness of forgotten hopes.
I would write about marriage. The poetry in the beauty of first moments. The hope of a new beginning. Patience and tolerance.
I would write about the myriad facades of life chapters, but I would begin with love.
Why do I wanna write about love? Because in the end, all that really matters, and the one thing that keeps us going, is… Love.
Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months. And then, one not-so-very special day, I went to my typewriter, I sat down, and I wrote our story. A story about a time, a story about a place, a story about the people. But above all things, a story about love. A love that will live forever. The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.
- quoted from the movie Moulin Rouge -
The Story about Domestic Invasion January 22, 2008
Posted by Natasha Khoo in Behind Closed Doors, Love & Relationships.2 comments
Him
Her

Him

Her

Him
Her

Her
Her
The irony: She complains that he’s taking up too much space. The house – is his.
His solution: He controls the remote. Everything else, whatever!

The happy ending: She throws out his toiletries. They are now sharing. He gets to keep the mouthwash.
Ah…life is beautiful, isn’t it? Makes you wonder sometimes…..
Can One Truly Find True Love Through the Internet? November 12, 2007
Posted by Natasha Khoo in Behind Closed Doors, Love & Relationships.Tags: cyber love, internet dating, love, relationships
4 comments
Do you believe in cyber love? Relationship that starts from an innocent ‘hello’ online and gradually develops into late night chats and endless phone calls. The little kisses that are given out so easily through the chat room which develops into hard copy “Miss You” cards. When cyber friendship develops into real life relationship and the sweet memories of the virtual world collides with reality, how would you know which one is real? The caring, sensitive and humorous guy you knew online, or the personality of a smooth-talking womaniser?
A person can be so misguided when in love. So blinded by the memories of chat history that we tend to believe the person we knew through the virtual world because those seemed so real, while reality seemed surreal. That through such long distance relationship, a person can juggle between two and even three relationships and never get caught. When one could introduce you to his parents in the evening, sends you off and goes home at night with another girlfriend, wakes up the following morning and cooks her breakfast, then rushes off in the afternoon to pick up another girl and repeat the same cycle with much creativity and style. All the while, maintaining close contact with you through sms-es and yes, internet chats.
So, a few months back, when I chanced upon a dating site called chineselovelinks.com, my instant reaction was a “hah!” with a smirk and to click “x” but curiosity got the better of me. Something caught my attention – the testimonials of happily married couples who started through cyber dating.I wasn’t convinced, quite an irony really…since I’m a wedding planner, and yes, I’m also a romantic at heart. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not bitter because of my past experience and neither am I a cynic when it comes to Internet dating, or whatever you call it these days. Like I said, I do believe in cyber love. I just don’t believe in the authenticity of it all.
Can a love that is built over the Internet surpass all levels of cultural differences? Can you still connect with each other when there’s the language barrier in between? Can a Texan white guy who can’t speak Mandarin find true love in a mainland Chinese girl who speaks minimal English? What happens when you realise that you connect better when you’re both online? And after months of long distance friendship, will there be the awkwardness of trying to find a topic of interest when you finally meet in person, face-to-face?
So, to satisfy my curiosity and to give cyber love that one chance to blossom again, I signed myself up. The service is free but your membership status would be much like a mere spectator. With a standard membership status, you won’t be able to send e-mails to another Standard member. You’ll only be able to “express your interest”. If you would like to have more ‘opportunities’ of finding your true love, you will need to upgrade to Gold or Platinum membership – and this is when you have to pay a monthly subscription fee. The mechanics are simple. If you are interested in someone, you can choose to “Show Interest” and wait for a reciprocal from the other party or “Send Mail” and confess your desire to take it to the next level – NO, it’s not cyber sex – by next level definition, means giving your MSN or personal e-mail! So, after over an hour of browsing through the picture gallery, I showed interest to about a million men and sent over a zillion e-mails. Ok, ok…so, I’m exaggerating. My point is…choices are abundant! Men here……are……perfect. As the saying goes, if things are too good to be true, then they usually are too good to be true. Check out some snippets of these interesting profiles:
- Tall, dark and handsome (Classic!)
- I would like to find a wife as soon as possible. Live can be lonely.
- I’m your angel.
- Honest! (Just a one-word description)
- A gentle, caring guy looking for a real woman. You can be my woman on top, I’ll give you all the authority. I like a woman in control while I take the back seat and you can get me to do anything you want.
- I’m a homely guy who enjoys cooking for my girl.
- I’m a well-balanced financial analyst who enjoys the great outdoor, cooking and watching movies. I’m living in a studio penthouse ……………….…………..…………..looking for a petite Chinese girl whom I could spend quality time with.
And some people, who took all the fuss and time to list themselves here along with all the necessary personal details, summarised their profile into:
- I don’t give you a f***.
- Don’t bug me if you want a relationship.
Ah…the myriads of interesting personalities in this big virtual world – a place where you are ‘picked’ based on the photo that you put up, and judged based on what you would like to be perceived as. I think it is much too complicated for an ordinary girl looking for a man who can simply love her for who she is.
The chineselovelinks.com is a Chinese dating site that assists singles to find a Chinese partner for friendship, dating, romance or marriage with people from around the world. It is managed by cupid service and has many other sites offering similar services but to cater to different ethnic mix such as Mexican link, Korean Cupid, Japan Cupid, Muslima.com, Singaporean Link and more.
62% Malaysians Lead Exciting Sex Lives September 26, 2007
Posted by Natasha Khoo in Behind Closed Doors, Love & Relationships.Tags: durex survey, sex
3 comments
“Malaysians Doing It Better”, as published in The Star citing results from Durex’s ‘In the Bedroom’ Sexual Wellbeing Global Survey, with 62% respondents claiming to lead exciting sex lives and 4 out of 5 Malaysians have sex on a weekly basis.
But are we really doing it better?
Quality vs quantity Surprisingly, 74% of Malaysian respondents have sex weekly, which is higher than Thais at 65% and Singaporeans at 62%. Although 35% of respondents actually “do it” 3 times or more, 54% said thrice weekly is not enough. Either we are sex slaves or it’s just too many quickies, since Malaysians only spend an average of 19.9 minutes making love, which placed us on the top ten (6th place) in global ranking (more like out of the 26 countries surveyed) as the world’s fastest in love-making.
Where are we compared to them –> 78% of Nigerians are happy that their love lives are as exciting as they could be and 65% of Latin Americans claimed to have regular orgasm. Oral sex is the most common among Austrians at 80% while 68% of Thais are more likely to indulge in sexual materials to boost their libido. On average worldwide, it’s the 65 years old ++ age group who are most likely to achieve sexual satisfaction *gasp*
Bonding vs bondage 74% of Malaysians want more romance, followed by 66% who want better communication with partner and 64% want more fun. The survey also revealed that 45% confessed to having a thing for sexy underwear and 62% expect their partners to become more experimental in their love lives and are optimistic it will happen within 10 years. A whooping 72% of Malaysians felt that sexual aids should be sold in pharmacies.
sexylosers.com
“Millions of people feel unsatisfied with their sex lives. Whether it’s the frequency or lack of variety and excitement, they feel that their sexual wellbeing is suffering,” said Dr. Sari Locker, a sexuality and relationships educator.
Then again, out of the 26,000 online survey conducted, the results of the Malaysia segment is only the voice of 1,026 Malaysians.
What say the rest of us?
2a.m. – The return of the EX August 1, 2007
Posted by Natasha Khoo in Behind Closed Doors, Love & Relationships, Random Thoughts.2 comments
Imagine my surprise when my ex texted me at 2a.m. over the weekend saying that he was pissed drunk and happy, and would like to sleep over at my place. What was even more hurtful and disrecpectful was the fact that he was already engaged – with wedding bells in the plan this coming November. The exchange of messages as follow:-
Anonymous Ex: Are you awake? I’m pissed. Can I sleep over tonight?
Me: What you mean pissed? Argument pissed…or pissed drunk?
Anonymous Ex: Pissed drunk and happy. Can I come over?
Me: Don’t insult me like that ever again!!!!! Or this is the end of our friendship!!!!
Anonymous Ex: I just need help. I can’t drive home.
Me: Ok, so have you informed your wife that you will be staying over at your ex-gf’s place? Don’t you have friends to send you home.
Anonymous Ex: I’m alone.
Silly me…worried. Doubted…….but worried. What if he was for real? So I decided to make the call.
Me: Hello, where are you now?
Anonymous Ex: I’m on the LDP.
Me: *gradually fuming* You are on the LDP highway and you wanna come over my place? Don’t you think finding your way back to Klang is nearer than finding your way to my house in Desa?! Why do you wanna come over to my place?
Anonymous Ex: Uh…I was in town just now. Now already on LDP. I just need your help. Too drunk to drive.
Me: Ok, if that’s the case, I’ll pick you up and drive you back home. You can come and collect your car from me tomorrow.
Anonymous Ex: It’s okla. I think I can find my way…uhh…*in a weak tone* I think I’m in Subang now. Trying to find my way to Kesas highway.
Me: Ok, bye.
Anonymous Ex: *in a manja tone* you don’t wanna accompany me until I reach home ah…?
Me: *temperature rising* I just have one question. Why are you so certain that I will be available to entertain you? Haven’t you thought that perhaps I may have company now or that you are disturbing me while I’m in a midst of doing something?! What do you take me for?! What is your real intention….honestly!
Anonymous Ex: Sorry lo…that’s why I messaged you first ma. Good night.
I’ve had enough with the controversies surrounding our past relationship, the stigma of being the other girl and keeping mum over the real dirt behind what happened or is happening now. So here goes:-
Fact 1: We have already separated for 4 years. We only keep in touch as friends though he unexpectedly dropped by my place once while his fiancee was out-station for a conference. I made it clear that nothing will happen…and nothing did.
Fact 2: This was the guy who introduced me to his parents, family, grandmother, cousins, uncle and aunties – all the while two-timing his fiancée (then girlfriend) while we were together for a year.
Fact 3: He’s getting married this November and I’m invited. He shares with me their wedding plans. I guess he had forgotten, that we once spoke about our future too.
Fact 4: I helped him buy gifts for his fiancée’s family – and even the underwear for his fiancée as his gift to her. I wonder how she’d feel if she finds out that the sexy g-strings she’s wearing was in fact chosen by the girl whom her husband slept with (then boyfriend). He told me he was buying gift for his sister.
Fact 5: He introduced me to his fiancée so that she could sell me insurance. It’s scary to imagine how a guy can put on a straight – face in such a scenario. Imagine what else he’s capable of, and how many lies hidden in his closet.
Fact 6: I think he three-timed his fiancée, which meant he two-timed me. I forgave him for that on the basis that…………..
Fact 7: I dunno why I forgave him.
Fact 8: Till this day, I still can’t understand why I am still on speaking terms with the guy who broke my heart.
Fact 9: Till this day, I’m still living with the stigma of being ‘the other girl’ among my friends and his family.
Fact 10: Contrary to what most people think, I have no regrets. I am grateful for memories of that one moment in my life with him……the bad times and lessons learnt, I take it with a grain of salt, and move on.
Fact 10: Apparently, his fiancée is also a wedding planner now. I don’t understand why since she doesn’t have any planning or organising experiences. And…..the more I try to stay as far away as possible, the closer we are drawn together by chance.
Fact 11: I make a lousy bitch. I wish I have the guts to be mean and cruel, but I don’t think his fiancée deserves to be hurt. Sometimes, I think she deserves to be with someone better. But ’someone better’ is very subjective in the world of love. So, the secret remains – just me and the rest of the world.

